I just…they’re bagels. They’re so good and so easy. Children prepare them. In the amount of time it takes to pull out a Bagel-Fuls* from the package and cook it—you have to cook these in a toaster or the microwave—you could just toast a real bagel. Adding cream cheese would take maybe 10 seconds.
My friend Nori is getting an MBA specializing in sustainable management / environmental economics. She’s got an assignment in honor of Earth Day to get people to calculate their personal CO2 emissions. So, if you’d be so kind as to help her out, that would be awesome. You won’t have to buy anything or sign up for anything. Just spend a minute or two here assessing your own impact on the environment. Thanks. The link: LiveNeutral.org
Doesn’t elite mean good? Is that not something we’re looking for in a president anymore? … The job you’re applying for — if you get it, and it goes well, they might carve your head into a mountain. If you don’t actually think you are better than us, then what the f@*k are you doing? … Not only do I want an elite president, I want someone who is embarrassingly superior to me. I want someone who speaks sixteen languages and sleeps two hours a night hanging upside down in a chamber they themselves designed.
If Barack Obama or anyone else really cares to know what I think, I will simplify it all down to this. The landmark political fact of our time is the replacement of our middle-class republic by a plutocracy. If some candidate has a scheme to reverse this trend, they’ve got my vote, whether they prefer Courvoisier or beer bongs spiked with cough syrup.
On “bitterness”:
. . . [T]he people who have designed and supported the policies that have brought the class divide back to America – the people who have actually, really transformed our society from an egalitarian into an elitist one – perfume themselves with the essence of honest toil, like a cologne distilled from the sweat of laid-off workers. . . .
But suppose we read on, and we find the news item about the hedge fund managers who made $2 billion and $3 billion last year, or the story about the vaporizing of our home equity. Suppose we become a little . . . bitter about this. What do our pundits and politicians tell us then?
That there is no place for such sentiment in the Party of the People. That “bitterness” is an ugly and inadmissible emotion. That “divisiveness” is a thing to be shunned at all costs.
“Brilliant” - Phil Haack
“A surreal nightmare” - Phil Haack
“In a confrontation reminiscent of another Charlie (Kaufman) facing down his twin brother in Adaptation, this Charlie takes on his most challenging guest ever: Charlie Rose. The topic — the future of technology — is apt, considering how we found this Web gem hiding in the tall grass of YouTube’s lonelygirls and soccer highlights.” - VSL
Professor Amar (no, the otherone) on how it’s Constitutionally permissive to have a true joint presidency. Neat idea that I can never see working.
[full article]
Counterterrorism officials in FBI headquarters slowed an investigation into a possible conspirator in the 2005 London bombings by forcing a field agent to return documents acquired from a U.S. university. Why? Because the agent received the documents through a lawful subpoena, while headquarters wanted him to demand the records under the USA Patriot Act, using a power the FBI did not have, but desperately wanted.
When a North Carolina State University lawyer correctly rejected the second records demand, the FBI obtained another subpoena. Two weeks later, the delay was cited by FBI director Robert Mueller in congressional testimony as proof that the USA Patriot Act needed to be expanded.
more. And props to EFF for getting records of this. Maybe you should also consider joining?
Gimlet
Something about your personality makes otherwise normal people use words like “bounder” and “cad.”
Manhattan
You’re witty, sophisticated, and not at all jealous that the oafs pounding down Jell-O shots at the other end of the bar are getting all the best trim.
Old Fashioned
Every significant event in your life has taken place on either a porch or a patio.
It’s kind of about the strange, uncomfortable feeling of reuniting with old friends only to find that the magic just isn’t there anymore - and in turn, about the melancholy “nothing will ever be as good as it used to be” type of nostalgia, of which I am increasingly fond. And of course, a tribute to the late, great, wood-paneled, shag-carpeted 1970’s rec room.
