neuralgraffiti

Some time ago, Sean and I had a discussion that went something like this:

Phil: You know what one of my goals is?
Sean: What?
Phil: To open and close a bar; you know, to be there when they open the doors and stay until they kick everyone out.
Sean: We should totally do that.

And when decided to actually do it, we thought that Toronado would be an excellent place to do it. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you.

1. Toronado is possibly my favorite bar in San Francisco
2. They only sell beer, so there would be no temptation to get a round of shots around 9 pm
3. They let you bring food in, and there’s a few good places to get takeout nearby

So, with venue decided, we just needed a date. That date was August 12th, last Friday. Sean is moving to New York, and I just started law school, so it seemed like a good time. I took notes and pictures more or less throughout the event, with the intention of doing a more elaborate writeup later on.

I’ve reprinted my notes from the day below, with my comments interspersed. I hope you enjoy:

11:30 AM: Arrive at Toronado -not open yet, wait outside
11:46 AM: Doors open, bartender apologizes

Yeah, they didn’t open on time. Now, Sean and I expected that we would be the only ones there for a while… oh, no. Not so. I’d say there were about 10 people at the bar within 15 minutes of opening, including one guy who was waiting outside next to us.

11:47 AM: First beers: Radeburger and Damnation Belgian Triple
12:00 PM: Jeff gets some Memphis Minnies

Lunch, tasty.

12:50 PM: Beer #2: Maredsous 8, Reality Czech Pils
01:07 PM: Discussion of film and Bogart — Apparently I need to see “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”
01:32 PM: I also need to watch “Jackie Brown” at least 3 times

And now is when the conversation really starts to go all over the place

01:43: No more movies, now we’re talking about gym teachers
01:47: Jack Chick, seriously
01:53: Apple vs. Windows
02:03: Beer #3 - Racer X, Death and Taxes Porter

Not sure who said that:

02:04: Whooo! That’s got some hops in it.

William on video games:

02:07: Windwaker - “But compared to, you know, Outlaw Golf, it’s a masterpiece”
02:10: Long conversation re:fighting games
02:33: Nate arrives

At this point, I started keeping a tally of beers consumed

02:50: (3.5) Nate buys me an extra 1/2 beer
03:11: (4.5) DuPont Foret Saison 750
03:16: “It’s, like, aerosol meat product” “Cow hoof smells terrible”
03:27: Nate leaves (vow to return, like McArthur)
03:50: I stop chronicling conversation
04:00: Phil “breaks the seal”
04:03: Phil is “in the zone”
04:13: (5.5) 750: Brasserie de Blaugies Saison d’Epeautre

You know what the problem with those 750s of Belgian beer is? 7.5%

04:36: We get respect from the bartender who opened (we get free drinks too)

05:00: I go to buy water - the light hurts my eyes

05:07: “Brown and sloppy is probably not what we want”
05:33: (6.5) La Rulles - Biere de Gamme
05:45: Thai food - it’s delicious
05:56: William: “The first time I shit myself, I’m going to an AA meeting; that’s what’s up”
06:02: Sean’s friend Paul shows up, then immediately leaves.
06:14: Paul Daniell arrives, in full hipster regalia
06:26: Paul (non-hipster) comes back with Michelle, then immediately leaves again
06:30: (7.5) Maredsous 8
06:33: Steve Chung arrives with churros
06:36: Phil spills beer on himself for the first time
07:27: Steve and Hipster Paul take their leave
07:31: William’s friend Jake points out that we are going to ingest more beer than we have blood in our bodies
07:32: (8.5) Russian River - Little White Lie
07:39: Discussion of Anderson Valley Brewing Company (think Boont Amber) and twisty roads with Paul (back again)

07:45: A game of dominos begins - I have no idea what I’m doing, but we’re playing “fives”
08:00: Round two - Paul wins round 1
08:16: (9.5) DeKoninck
08:21: Cam and Sylvia show up
09:01: “We don’t have wants, we have needs”, Sean in reference to what kind of beer we want
09:04: Paul starts singing “Lady” by Styx repeatedly (but just the first line, er… word)

Sadly, Ian couldn’t make it out, because….

09:05: “Holy Diver” is on the jukebox and no one here put it on
09:11: (10.5) Lagunitas Nuevo Noir
09:22: Sean lead with the spinner, WTF?

For those of you who don’t know what the spinner is.

10:01: Sausage time + Cam’s Dutch ____ 1500
10:06: sausage finiahed
10:10: I stop caring about the blog

Now, I really did intend to stop note-taking at this point, because:

1. I really felt like I had enough material
2. I wanted to put Chris’ laptop away

But, apparently, other people felt differently. I should warn my sensitive readers that there is foul language ahead:

12:46: My chocolate tart is awesome. Nate asked that I record this. Quote: “I make a fucking awesome chocolate tart”
12:48: Let’s be honest, my Mom is the only one who reads my blog
12:55: Let’s be honest. Phil don’t give a shit that Lilly and Chris have aRRIVED.

I’d just like to say that I was very happy to see Lilly and Chris, and they were quite wrong when they wrote that. Now, I may not have noticed them for a while. But come on, I care.

i am a big dork
20 sided die rulz
i cast magic missle with true strike

Now, these last lines were written by MJ, and I considered pretending like I don’t know what she meant, since she’s obviously trying to make fun of my nerddom. On reflection, I decided to just outnerd her by pointing out that there’s no point to casting True Strike (+20 to attack rolls) before casting Magic Missile. Since Magic Missiles always hit, the target just has the option to make a saving throw.

So there.

And that concludes our Toronado Marathon commentary. If you’d like to see more pictures, I’ve got them on Flickr.

And no, I will probably never do this again.

Ever.