neuralgraffiti

OK, I like playing DDR. My old roommate, Matt is quite good, and has the sweet metal-arcade style pads. I decided I’d like to start playing at home, so a week or two ago, I ordered a DDR pad, based on Sean’s recommendation. It arrived today, and, being the thorough guy I am, I decided to read the instruction sheet for putting it together, even though I was pretty sure that the instructions would be something like:

1. put foam pads inside the giant colorful sleeve.
2. plug in to Playstation 2

How wrong I was. The instructions are a masterpiece of modern Engrish, and I’ve reproduced them here for you, dear reader.

Hot Dance Instruction:
Thanks for purchasing our product. This product is made for dancing and health-care. Please read this instruction carefully before using and please follow steps properly and remember to take good care of this instruction.

OK, not a bad start, I pretty much understood all of that. Better English than my Japanese, and all that, right?

Then there’s a little diagram showing how to put these little circles of double-stick tape on the pad to hold the foam in place, all good. Then we get to the “Notice section”

Notice:
!Warning

• Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured. Stop immediately
  If there is abnormal phenomenon in your foot, waist and back when using it.
• Please take off your shoes when using this product, don’t wear a smooth sock do not stack up other things around you, keep far away from walls and windows, find somewhere roomy to play.
• There is maybe some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.
• Make sure to pave the cushion.
• Don not put it near the furniture and other odds and ends.
• Young children must be guided to use it or need parents and teaches to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it.
• High technology product, do not apart, separate, or fix it anyway. Or the damage can not be guaranteed.
• Do not keep it in the quite high or low temperature environment, especially far away from fireplace.
• If this product can’t work well, please connect with your supplier directly.
• This product is made for indoor games only. Do not use it outdoors or in other occasion.
• Please shut off the power before removing this product.
• Please put it on a flat floor, but not too smooth.
• Do not wear sharp shows when using it ,that may cause damage to the product.
• When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safely.
• Strong jump or shake may cause influence to the video and audio output.
• Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.

So there you go. Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person. Words to live by, I think. Oh, and remember to pave the cushion.